Meaning

When I left for Ecuador, I had no idea what to expect.  The only information I had to form my expectations was my program’s excursion itinerary, and blogs and stories from friends who had studied abroad in the past.  Thus, the only thing I knew to expect was a steady stream of new experiences and adventures that “would change my life and who I was.”  I never stopped to think about the fact that it is hard to fill five months with constant novelty, and that not every day could be wonderful.  It took six rocky weeks and some introspection to realize that daily life in Ecuador would have the same ups and downs as anywhere else I have lived, and that it is silly to expect anything different.  This is not to say that I have been unhappy these last two months; on the contrary, I have been enjoying myself and have done some truly amazing things, but all the highs have been accompanied with their fair share of lows.  This caused me to reconsider what my semester abroad means and what I should expect it to bring.

What, then, does it mean to live for a semester in Ecuador?  Certainly not a five-month long vacation.  But if not that, then what?  I have thought a lot about what it means to live in this beautiful, contradictory country, and I have written a piece that I hope provides a glimpse into life here that is true to the whole experience.  Of course, this is life through my eyes; written by anyone else this would read completely differently, so please don’t take my words as the world written in stone.  I have learned that it is dangerous to take other’s experiences too literally.  What does it mean to live in Ecuador?

Living in Ecuador means living at the center of the world. It means no seasons. It means remembering to put on sunscreen every morning, or risk being burned, because the sun is so strong.

Living in Ecuador means waiting at the bus stop every day, gazing out at the mountains through the gap in the walls, and realizing anew, “I am living in the middle of the Andes.”  It means being present in a land so rich with history that the past is palpable with every step and visible in every face.

Living in Ecuador means sustaining the rice farmers, the bread makers, and the fruit growers.  It means a mid-morning coffee for a dollar and hot chocolate every night.  It means missing pasta and my father’s cooking.

Living in Ecuador means living amongst the people.  It means my personal space bubble evaporating with every packed bus ride.  It means men of all ages whistling, cat-calling, trying to dance without asking, staring without shame, and it means hearing the wrong words – “good morning, pretty girls,” when it is 6 o’clock at night.  It means walking quickly, looking nowhere but the ground, and trying not to listen.

Living in Ecuador means a cow on a leash crossing the road.  It means a constant soundtrack of Latin American music mixed with 80s hits from the States.  It means being taller than everyone even though the women are all wearing heels.  It means wanting to put out a public service announcement about how to avoid underwear lines.

Living in Ecuador means spending too much time on Facebook.  It means needing to talk to my mother but having nothing to say when I finally get her on the line.  It means an incessant stream of thoughts and plans for “when I get back to the States,” and wondering why I always look so far ahead and can never seem to be completely happy with wherever I am.

Living in Ecuador means conflicting ideas.  It means being annoyed with the constant construction, but impressed with the impeccable roads.  It means going to school with the rich kids while passing grubby children peddling gum and clementines.  It means wanting desperately to conserve our environment, but still buying foods wrapped in three layers of plastic at the supermarket.  It means being welcomed into a family, but really missing doing my own laundry.

Living in Ecuador means just that – living.  It means doing homework and missing my alarm and buying over-priced shampoo, going to bed brain-dead from a day full of so much Spanish.  It means running through an oasis of trees in a jungle of streets and pollution.  It means finding more questions than answers.

Living in Ecuador means being alive, and finding happiness in the fact that every day I wake up with the sun shining on my face, knowing that there are people all around the world who love me no matter how far away I am.